I Buried the Hatchet With My Prideful Superior

By Liu Xiang

I Started to Resist With the Section Chief

I am a welder and was poached by my present company due to my good skills. Not long after I came here, because a defective product was found in what I produced, the section chief specially had the inspection department hold a meeting to criticize me and he even asked me to write a report on the defective product. I thought, “Everyone has once produced defective products; the section chief seldom reported them, yet why did he specially ask the inspection department to hold a meeting to criticize me?” But then I thought, “This time I have indeed made a mistake. I should admit it.” Thereupon I didn’t think of much else. But after that, the section chief still criticized me all the time and spoke to me mockingly, “How could you make mistakes?” Seeing that attitude from him, I felt my self-respect was severely harmed and thus I could not help but get angry, thinking, “Why can’t I make mistakes? So what if I made a mistake? What are you going to do about it?” Then I began to resist the section chief.

From then on, the section chief started to be very hard on me. He frequently instructed me to do this or that with an imperious tone, and he often assigned me other people’s tasks and stared at my side. I knew that he was targeting me and finding fault with me, and I wasn’t willing to show any weakness. So when seeing that I could not finish the work in time no matter how hard I tried, I would just go slow, going to the bathroom or drinking some water, and I even deliberately hung around doing nothing in front of him to annoy him. Seeing me act this way, he stared at me straight in the eyes and yelled, “Don’t you know that this work needs to be done quickly?” “I know,” I answered. “Then why haven’t you finished it?” I replied, “That’s all I got. This is the rate I used to work at.” Hearing me say this, he crushed out the cigarette in his hand and then left angrily. Such things often happened in my work, and although the section chief did not do anything to me after every dispute, I felt very wronged and upset. I had no idea when there would be an end to this life.

Once, the section chief again arranged for me so much work that I could not finish at all, which made me seethe with secret rage, so I pondered how to have him learn that I was not easy to push around. Hence, the next day I found an excuse to ask for leave from the company. Seeing me do that, the section chief could do nothing to me, and because there was some work to be caught up on, he had to proactively call me to say that some of my tasks had been assigned to others and ask me to go to work the next day. In this way, he saw that he could not sort me out, so he stopped troubling me for a while. But it was not long before he once again started to make things difficult for me when he saw that the company was not so busy. When I told him that my tools were awkward, he asked me to make do with them; when I asked him to help me order a suit of work clothes because mine had been damaged by fire after wearing it for a long time, he refused. In short, he barely satisfied my needs at all and we were often sarcastic in our exchanges. We had been locking horns like this for three years, during which every day was very depressing for me and I even thought about resigning and leaving the company. However, thinking back on these years of struggling in Japan, it was difficult to find a steady job. Moreover, I was poached by the company, if I was frozen out by the section chief like this, I couldn’t accept it. So in order to strive to do well for myself, I could only endure the pain and continue to work.

I Discovered the Source of Anger

In 2018, I had the good fortune to accept Almighty God’s work in the last days. Afterward, whenever I had time I would gather with my brothers and sisters and read God’s words. Through having meetings, I came to know that my often resisting and arguing with the section chief was the result of my corrupt dispositions, and this was loathed by God. After coming to this understanding, I began to focus on reflecting upon and knowing myself in my daily life.

One evening, just before I got off work, the section chief came and said to me with an imperious tone, “You! Work overtime tomorrow. Finish the several new tasks just assigned the other day.” I said nothing and nodded in agreement. He continued to ask me, “Can you complete them by tomorrow?” Hearing this, I thought, “They are new work, and I need to see the drawings. I don’t know what difficulties I’ll encounter and how long it will take.” Then, I replied, “Probably.” With a cigarette in his mouth, he looked at me and said, “Probably? I bet you cannot finish it within a day!” Seeing him so haughty, I felt very disgusted in my heart and anger surged inside me. Next, he said provokingly, “I can make it in half a day, while you cannot even in a whole day. How about we make a bet?” Seeing his disdainful look, I thought, “You have never had any regard for me. You’re competing with me! Do you think I’m just a freeloader? Tomorrow I’ll complete these tasks in the shortest time, and you know my ability and I’ll see what more you can say.” At the thought of this, I did not go easy on him and said in a brusque tone, “I’ll give it a try tomorrow. Wait and see how long I can finish them and I’ll show you how big the gap between us is!” After he heard me say this, a crooked smile appeared on his face. I thought, “Tomorrow I’ll strive to finish the work in eight hours to wipe the smile off your face.”

On my way home, I was full of anger. Thinking of how the section chief had frequently belittled and made things difficult for me during these three years really made me furious. I thought, “This time, after finishing this work, I must argue with him. I cannot allow him to look down on me like this.” While walking, I turned on my cell phone and happened to see the images of my church brothers and sisters, which made me suddenly realize that I was already a believer in God and that I had revealed corrupt dispositions just now. After returning home, I still couldn’t calm myself down and felt sad because of that thing. Then I came before God and prayed, “O God! Today I exposed corrupt dispositions again and did not stand witness. God, You know that I’m small in stature and don’t understand anything. May You lead me to know my own satanic corrupt dispositions and find the path to rid myself of them.”

After that, I remembered two passages of God’s words which my brothers and sisters had fellowshiped with me during a meeting. God’s words say, “Regardless of whether one becomes angry in the sight of others or behind their backs, everyone has a different intention and purpose to their anger. Perhaps they are building up their prestige, or maybe they are defending their own interests, maintaining their image or keeping face. Some exercise restraint in their anger, while others are more rash and allow their rage to flare up whenever they wish without the least bit of restraint. In short, man’s anger derives from his corrupt disposition. No matter what its purpose, it is of the flesh and of nature; it has nothing to do with justice or injustice because nothing in man’s nature essence corresponds to the truth.” “Once a man has status, he will often find it difficult to control his mood, and so he will enjoy seizing upon opportunities to express his dissatisfaction and vent his emotions; he will often flare up in rage for no apparent reason, so as to reveal his ability and let others know that his status and identity are different from those of ordinary people. Of course, corrupt people without any status also often lose control. Their anger is frequently caused by damage to their private interests. In order to protect their own status and dignity, corrupt mankind will frequently vent their emotions and reveal their arrogant nature. Man will flare up in anger and vent his emotions in order to defend and uphold the existence of sin, and these actions are the ways in which man expresses his dissatisfaction; they brim with impurities, with schemes and intrigues, with man’s corruption and evil, and more than anything else, they brim with man’s wild ambitions and desires.”

Mulling over God’s words, I saw that when people got angry, they all had their own intentions and purposes. They were preserving their own image and face, or establishing their own rank, or defending their own profits. In short, no matter how legitimate the reasons were, people’s anger originated from their nature of arrogance, it came from hot blood, it was full of personal wild ambitions and desires, and it was evil and not in line with the truth. I reflected on my actions of that day: I got so angry with the section chief mainly to protect my own face and defend my dignity. I had always lived by Satan’s poisons, such as “Man ought to live with dignity” and “As a tree lives for its bark, a man lives for his face,” protecting my self-regard and dignity in all things. Once someone embarrassed me, I would lose my temper right away, exposing my nature of arrogance and losing the reason of a normal person. Thinking back on these years, when I saw that the section chief always treated me with disdain or tried to figure out all kinds of ways to bully me, I would feel that he was not taking me seriously and was looking down upon and belittling me, so in order to save my face and dignity, I had been relying on my arrogant disposition to go against him and even thought of ways to force him to give in to me. Now I thought about why I always wanted to save my face and win his respect. It was because I thought I was a person of talent with skills and personal strengths, who was poached by my company, so I should be respected. Actually, no matter what skills or strengths I had, I was a piece of dust and a created being, and I was unqualified to demand that others respect me and show consideration for my face when they speak and act. This was an unreasonable demand and was the manifestation of my arrogance. At the thought of this, I felt ashamed for my actions and behavior.

I Understood God’s Will

Following that, another passage of God’s words then came to my mind, “From the outside, some people might seem to have opinions about you or prejudices against you, but you should not see things that way. If you see things from an erroneous standpoint, the only thing you will do is make excuses, and you will not be able to attain anything. You should see things objectively and justly; in that way, you will seek the truth and understand God’s intention. Once your viewpoint and state of mind are rectified, you will be able to attain the truth. So, why do you not just do it? Why do you resist? If you stopped resisting, you would gain the truth. If you resist, you will not gain anything, and you will also hurt God’s feelings and disappoint Him. How will God be disappointed? It is tantamount to your pushing away the bowl of food that God Himself has brought to you to feed you from in person. You say that you are not hungry and that you do not need it; God tries again and again to encourage you to eat, but you still do not want it. You would rather go hungry. You think that you are satiated, when actually, you have absolutely nothing. People like this are very self-righteous, and are the most impoverished and pitiful of people.”

As I contemplated God’s words, I thought of how in the past I had always believed that the reason I always had conflicts with the section chief was because he was too self-conceited and often looked down on me, but only at that moment did I realize that such a viewpoint was wrong. I came to understand that this kind of environment was allowed by God, and that I should no longer resist but instead should focus on learning lessons. If I was always at loggerheads with others in the belief that they were in the wrong and did not seek the truth, then I would not recognize my own problems and end up gaining no truth. At that time, I was aware that in the conflicts between us, the section chief was wrong, but I was a filthy and corrupt person as well and I had been resisting him in order to maintain my dignity, without a shred of humanity or reason whatsoever in what I lived out. God arranged people, matters, and things for me just to reveal my corrupt dispositions and have me see the truth of my corruption, achieve the knowledge of myself, and in the end live out the likeness of a normal human to glorify God. After understanding God’s will, I wished to rely on God to change myself. So I came before God in prayer and asked Him to help me let go of my self-regard and dignity that were worthless, and live according to His words.

The Section Chief Once Again Made Things Difficult for Me

The following day, having finished the tasks assigned to me the day before, I began to do new ones, and after a while, I heard the section chief shout after me. I thought, “Every time he finds me, it’s trouble.” Just then I realized that my situation wasn’t right. The environments around me were arranged by God, and I should receive them from God instead of resisting. Hence, I prayed silently to God in my heart and sought God’s protection so that my heart might be at peace in His presence. Then I turned and saw the section chief measuring my products with a yardstick. While doing so he said to me, “Your products are defective. The weld bead is five millimeters longer than the standard, the angle is wrong, and the bottom of it is sloping. They all need to be adjusted.” Seeing that these problems he mentioned weren’t critical, I knew that he was making things difficult for me again. When I was just about to reason with him, God’s words popped into my mind, “You are a Christian; you are a follower of God. When Satan tempts you, when it provokes your hot blood, what weapon do you use to face this issue? You use whatever you have at your disposal,^[a] or your corrupt disposition to face off with him. Satan is hoping to reel you in, and you stupidly allow yourself to be reeled in. Then Satan is just thrilled. It has occupied your heart, and has stolen away your time and your thoughts. You cannot come in front of God. You have a belly full of bile, full of grievances and resentment. At that time is the truth useful? It’s not useful anymore.” At that moment, I understood that the section chief treating me like this was Satan’s temptation and that Satan wanted to provoke my hot blood to have me live in a state of war with the section chief. The truth was that this environment was permitted and set up by God for changing my arrogant disposition and letting me live with the likeness of a true human and be rational. I should receive it from God and submit to it first, and could not be Satan’s laughingstock. With this in mind, I calmed down quite a bit. Then I gently said to him for the first time, “Please don’t worry. After I finish the work, I’ll check the products one by one and repair the defective ones carefully. I’ll give you the satisfaction.” Hearing me speak like this, he stopped for a moment and said nothing more. When he turned and was about to leave, he gave me a glance with a confused look. After he left, I turned and tears began to stream down my face. Because in so many years, this was the first time I did not lose my temper when encountering something like this, and this was also the first time I did not feel so wronged or upset. It was God’s words that allowed me to free myself from Satan’s bondage. There was an unspeakable feeling that moved my heart.

I Buried the Hatchet With the Section Chief

Subsequently, I threw myself wholeheartedly into the work and by 4:30 that afternoon I finished the new tasks. Following that, I rechecked all the products and then brought them to the section chief, saying, “I’ve done all the tasks. Please check the products. If there are defective ones, I’ll repair them.” Hearing me say this boggled his mind. Looking at me, he stood there for a while and then asked, “Are you not depressed today?” I smiled and did not answer his question directly, thinking, “You will not understand my present happiness.” After work, he told me that my products of that day were all up to standard and there were no big problems in them, and then I returned home cheerfully.

When I went to work the next day, what surprised me was that the section chief proactively came say hello to me, which had never happened before. Seeing him leave, I said in my heart, “Thank God. God uses someone like you to reveal me, an arrogant person who doesn’t know himself, so that I can see my nature of arrogance and learn the lesson I should learn.”

From then on, I no longer relied on my arrogant disposition to treat the section chief, and his attitude toward me also changed. Once, when I told him that my welding machine did not work well, he immediately changed another one for me; a few days ago, when he saw that my work clothes were burned, he actively asked me what size I wore and said that he would order a new one for me. Seeing his changes, I felt so warm within my heart. Our frosty relationships for over three years finally improved. I knew this was the result achieved in me by the words of God. Thanks be to God. In the future, I wish to experience God’s work more to have my corrupt dispositions utterly transformed and live out the likeness of a real person to satisfy God.

Footnotes:

a. The original text reads “You use a real knife, a real gun.”