How the 12-Year-Old Christian Can Get Along Well With Her Grandmother

“Grandma, you just can’t type in such a simple word. What did you learn in your primary school? You’re too stupid!” Linlin, a sixth-grade student, said to her grandmother impatiently.

Her grandmother, sitting on the chair, said nothing but sighed. Not asking Linlin anymore, she continued to look at the computer screen again, and hit the keyboard with her two index fingers clumsily, while repeating the word that she was going to type in.

Seeing her grandmother like this, Linlin just realized that she disdained her grandmother once again. She felt a little sad, thinking: I have already known I’m young, brash and arrogant, and determined that I would no longer treat grandma in that way. But why did I once more fall into my old ways today? Linlin felt quite depressed. She silently went back to her room, sat on the bedside, opened her diary, and read the stories that had happened between her grandmother and her recently.

May 10, 2018, Thursday, Sunny

Because my dad and mom have been working in another place, I have lived with my grandma since kindergarten. She took very good care of me, washing my clothes and cooking for me. At that time, I felt my grandma was really capable and could do any housework. But as I gradually grew up and learned more and more things, I felt she was outdated. She even didn’t know how to use the smartphone or the computer, and also she couldn’t understand the fashionable words that I spoke. So sometimes when she asked me some words that she couldn’t recognize, but I thought they were very simple, I would just say without thinking, “Grandma, you even don’t know such simple words. You’re really stupid.” Seeing I took such an attitude, grandma said, “I’m old and my memory is poor. I just forgot some words, and you said I’m stupid. How could you speak like that?” But no matter what grandma said, I still thought she was stupid and looked down on everything she did.

May 13, 2018, Sunday, Sunny

Today, I went shopping with grandma and once again I saw she took her cellphone for old people. I said to her, “Grandma, don’t take that cellphone anymore. It even can’t take photos. It’s so shameful!” After I pleaded with her again and again, she finally bought a smartphone. However, she didn’t know how to use it and let me teach her. I gave her a demonstration for several times, and then I let her operate it by herself. But when I asked her to press the right key she pressed the left key. I became extremely angry and shouted: “Grandma, I asked you to press the right key but you pressed the left key. Didn’t you see how I press them? You’re so stupid!” Grandma said: “You pressed so quickly that I didn’t see clearly. Besides, I’m very old. How can I match you?” Then I impatiently taught her another several times, but she didn’t remember it yet. Seeing that I was impatient, she was also unhappy, saying: “I don’t want to learn!” I thought: When I first learned it, I didn’t have so much difficulty as you did. I have taught you so many times but you can’t remember it and even get angry with me. Humph, it’s better that you don’t want to learn. I have taught you quite a while, but you still don’t know how to operate it. It’s just a waste of time even if I teach you again.

May 18, 2018, Friday, Cloudy

Today, when I just stepped into the house after school, I heard grandma said to herself: “Did the computer crash? Why did it not react no matter how I move the mouse?” So I went to her and wanted to know what had happened. At first I didn’t understand why either, but after I read the instructions I found that she didn’t plug the mouse receiver into the computer, so I blurted: “Grandma, can’t you read the instructions? The computer will be broken by you sooner or later.” Then I saw that she even didn’t know how to use the mouse and wanted to help her, but when I saw she couldn’t part her index and middle finger, I felt she was laughable and stupid. I said impatiently: “Grandma, you’re so stupid.” Because I always treated grandma like that, she was somewhat unhappy and said to me: “If you look down on me again, hurry to take your things to your own home and live by yourself, so that you can try a taste of living independently.” Hearing that, I felt sad in my heart: It’s not easy for grandma to take care of me every day, but I have no patience with her. I really felt that I was not sensible, but whenever I saw grandma learned something slowly, I would look down on her in spite of myself though I didn’t want to be like this.

May 20, 2018, Sunday, Sunny

This afternoon, Aunt Yu in the church came to look for grandma, but grandma just went out. I then told her what happened between grandma and me. Having heard this, Aunt Yu read a passage of God’s words to me: “Because the people in this age group are inexperienced in the matters of the world and have little understanding of the affairs of human life, when they just begin to come into contact with the affairs of the world and of human life, they think, ‘I understand. I understand thoroughly. I know it all! I can understand what adults talk about and I can keep up with all the fashionable things in society. Now mobile phones are developing quickly, with functions that are so complicated—I know how to use it all! You bunch of old women don’t understand anything. You even can’t turn on the TV, and if you do manage to turn it on, you can’t switch it off again.’ There are some young people, when their grandmothers speak to them and say: ‘Do this for granny,’ who reply: ‘Humph, you can’t even do this. Old people really are useless!’ What kind of way is that to talk? Don’t forget, you will also grow old one day. Can being able to do some things like this be considered a skill? Can it be considered an ability? People may say no, but when they encounter some issue, they will express this kind of disposition. What is this? This is what is meant by ‘the young are brash and arrogant.’ This is what people express.”

Having heard God’s word, I felt it revealed exactly my situation. I had learned to operate computer at school, so it was easy for me to use the smartphone and computer when I accessed to them; even if I was unfamiliar with some operation, I made it after I read the instructions. So I felt that I was clever, and capable of everything. When I saw grandma couldn’t do these things, and even couldn’t remember or learned slowly what I taught her, I disdained her and said that she was stupid. In fact, grandma isn’t so stupid as I said. It is just because there were not these things during her time that she didn’t have a chance to learn. Besides, grandma is old; her brain is slower than young men’s, and her hands and feet are not so agile, so it’s normal for her to learn something with difficulty. However, I took the little skill that I have learned as my strong point and my capital to laugh at her. I’m really too brash and arrogant, without any likeness of a little Christian. At this time, I felt reproached in my heart. I made up my mind: In future, I mustn’t treat grandma like this anymore. I must have a change.

Closing her diary, Linlin was annoyed that she hadn’t changed her attitude to her grandmother yet.

At that night, Aunt Yu came to look for her grandmother again, Linlin told her trouble to Aunt Yu.

“Aunt, I know that I’m arrogant and I always disdain my grandma. I really want to have a change, but why can’t I change? Aunt, you say, what should I do to not disdain my grandma and to change my attitude toward her?”

Aunt Yu said: “It’s not enough to just have some knowledge about our arrogant nature. In daily life, we must take practical action, betray this nature and treat others fairly.” Then she read two passages in the Sermons and Fellowship on Entry Into Life: “You should take practical action. Then what to do? Treating others with love, helping others, being able to get along with others equally and harmoniously and loving each other—these are counted as true repentance.” “Find others’ strong points, and compare them to your shortcomings. Learn to respect others and draw on others’ strengths to make up for your deficiencies. Don’t always compare your strong points to others’ shortcomings. Don’t always look down on others.”

Aunt Yu continued saying: “The fellowship is very clear. If you want to have a change and no longer disdain your grandmother, you should treat her fairly, see more her strong points, and don’t compare your strong points to her shortcomings. Because everyone has his own shortcomings and insufficiencies. Just as God’s word says: ‘No matter how capable people are, how astute they are, or how talented they are, there’ll always be something that’s beyond them, something they’re incapable of understanding. It’s like on people’s backs, isn’t there a spot that they can’t reach? In the place it’s itching you say, “Mom, give me a scratch here.” These words are the most real, they are the words in your heart. In the areas that are beyond you, you always need the support and help of others. So your parents are the ones that nurture you, but they’re also your helpers. What’s best is when you can make them your friends, intimates, and confidants. They help you, you help them, you support each other, and make up for one another’s shortcomings, and in this way the relationship between you becomes normal.’”

After reading God’s words, Aunt Yu fellowshiped some more. Linlin saw the light after hearing these words. She said: “From God’s words, I know that although I knew how to use some electronic products, in life, I know nothing about how to wash clothes, cook or brush shoes. It’s grandma who helps me do these things and takes care of me in my daily life. Grandma and I have our own strong points and shortcomings. There is nothing for me to be arrogant about even if I have learned something new. I should try to help grandma instead of comparing my strong points to her shortcomings. Grandma doesn’t disdain me because I don’t know how to deal with some daily chores. I’m particularly not qualified to disdain her. Now, not only should I help grandma with love and patience, but also I should learn from her strong points.”

At that night, Linlin prayed to God again: “God, I know I was wrong. I shouldn’t treat my grandma like that. In future, I will speak to my grandma calmly. If she asks me something she doesn’t understand, I will teach her carefully. God! I have an arrogant disposition, but I’m willing to betray it, treat my grandma fairly, see more her strong points, and not treat her based on my corrupt disposition.” After prayer, Linlin felt peaceful in her heart.

One afternoon, her grandmother learned from Linlin how to type once more. At first, when her grandmother asked her, she could teach her patiently. Later on, when her grandmother asked her some simple words, Linlin started to mutter in her heart: Alas, my grandma. These words are so simple and I have told you before. Why do you forget them again? When she was going to disdain her grandmother, she thought of God’s words and the resolution she made before God. Then she felt ashamed in her heart and saw that she was too arrogant. So she prayed to God in her heart: “God, my arrogant nature is going to expose again. I have said that I would teach my grandma patiently, but I can’t control my arrogant disposition. God, please lead me to practice the truth.” After prayer, Linlin thought of God’s words: “Don’t forget, you will also grow old one day.” “They help you, you help them, you support each other, and make up for one another’s shortcomings, and in this way the relationship between you becomes normal.” That’s right! I will also grow old one day. As the age develops more and more rapidly, maybe I can’t match grandma when at her age. These words are strange to her, so it’s normal that she can’t remember them for the moment. I can’t help her with other things but can do such a small thing for her. At this thought, Linlin was liberated in her heart and started to teach her grandmother patiently. As soon as Linlin saw that her grandmother typed in a wrong way, she taught her hand over hand. When her grandmother saw this, a gratified smile appeared on her face.

In the following days when Linlin got along with her grandmother, her grandmother still didn’t understand many things and Linlin also revealed arrogance now and then, but she would pray to God and rely on God so that she could forsake herself and help her grandmother with love according to God’s will. At the same time, Linlin also thanked God for His leading, which made her not disdain her grandmother but could respect and get along well with her. All the glory be to God!