How Can We Get Along With Others in Harmony?

December 20, 2019

By Qingxi

One day, a brother recounted his annoyance to me, “Recently, I’ve always looked down on a certain brother. Many of his practices are repellent to me. When encountering matters, he couldn’t rely on the Lord or seek the Lord. Moreover, on that day when we stayed together, a few words he spoke seemed to be aimed at me, which made me feel very uncomfortable. To be honest, I even don’t want to see this brother now. I do know that I have no patience and love and that I should have tolerance and forbearance with him. But I just can’t practice them. I just look down on him and turn up my nose at his deficiencies. For this, I feel very upset, not knowing how I should practice to change this kind of state.”

In fact, many brothers and sisters often encounter the annoyance similar to what this brother has in our actual life. For example, when we see brothers and sisters’ qualities are inferior to us, we look down on them; when we find brothers and sisters are weak, we define that they don’t pursue the truth, and even have an aversion to them; when we see others’ characters don’t match with ours, we dislike them; when others’ words hurt us, we immediately have a prejudice against them; and so forth. All in all, we make demands of others based on the standards of our own requirements. When others don’t meet our requirements or appeal to us, we either rebuke or judge them, or belittle and look down on them; sometimes we even compare our own strengths with others’ shortcomings. As a result, it becomes more and more difficult for us to get along with brothers and sisters.

This makes me remember the Lord Jesus said, “And why behold you the mote that is in your brother’s eye, but consider not the beam that is in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3). From the Lord’s word, it can be seen: We always fixate on brothers and sisters, unable to correctly treat their strengths and weaknesses. We seldom examine ourselves and seek God’s will, or reflect on what problems we have, why God arranges these people around us, or what lessons God wants us to learn. So, it is hard for us to get on with others.

Then how should we resolve this problem? God’s word says, “If you believe in the dominion of God, then you must believe that the things that happen every day, be they good or bad, don’t happen accidentally. It is not that someone doesn’t get on with you or opposes you on purpose; it is actually all arranged and orchestrated by God. What does God orchestrate these things for? It is not to reveal your shortcomings for everyone to see or to expose you; exposing you is not the final aim. The aim is to perfect you and save you. How does God perfect you and save you? Firstly, He makes you aware of your own corrupt disposition, your own nature and essence, your own shortcomings and what you lack. Only by knowing these things and understanding them in your heart can you cast them off. This is an opportunity for you, you must learn to seize this opportunity and know how to seize it; don’t lock horns and don’t resist. … You must see and comprehend these things in this way, and this is being obedient to everything that comes from God. You must possess this kind of state of mind and this kind of attitude and you must learn to seek the truth. You mustn’t look for external causes, mustn’t always look for the troubles of others, and you mustn’t always look for faults in others. It can look like that from outside, and some people may have opinions about you or may think about you in a certain way, but you shouldn’t see things that way or from that point of view. You should see things from another point of view. If you see things from that point of view, then you won’t be able to attain anything. If you see things from this point of view then that’s great, your viewpoint and your state of mind will be straightened out and you will then attain the truth. What possible reason could there be to not proceed?” From God’s words, we can see: The people, matters, and things that we encounter every day, whether they are in accordance with our will or not, they are all God’s rule and arrangements, and they are all that God sets up for us. The purpose of God’s setting up these environments is to perfect and save us. God exactly uses these people, matters, and things that are contrary to our will to reveal our corruption, so that we can know our satanic poisons and satanic dispositions, and know what sins we can still commit. Then we seek the relevant truth and resolve our problems. When we genuinely know the substance and fact of our corruption, we can find that we are not superior to brothers and sisters. And we are even not as good as them because they have many strengths that are not in our possession. By then, we will naturally become low-key and we will not put ourselves in a high position to make steep demands of brothers and sisters, but instead we will be able to properly treat their strengths and shortcomings. In this case, not only will we have transformation in our corrupt dispositions, but it will also be much more relaxed to get along with others.

Therefore, when we still develop a bias against brothers and sisters and fail to get along with them, only restraining ourselves and having patience and tolerance with them on the outside can’t last long. Instead, we should spend efforts on seeking to know ourselves based on our nature and to resolve the problem from the root. When things happen to us, we should first return to our spirit, come before God to pray, seek to obey the environments God sets up for us, and seek God’s will in the meantime: Why does God arrange such people around us? What lessons does God let us learn in such an environment? What aspects of us will God change and purify in creating an environment? What kind of corruption do we reveal in this environment? What kind of shortcomings and deficiencies do we have? Is the way we treat brothers and sisters around us in line with God’s will? And so on. When we practice in this way, gradually, we will be able to treat brothers and sisters correctly and get along well with them. Just as God says, “In the dispositions of normal people there is no crookedness or deceitfulness, people have a normal relationship with each other, they do not stand alone, and their lives are neither mediocre nor decadent. So, too, is God exalted among all, His words permeate among man, people live in peace with one another and under the care and protection of God, the earth is filled with harmony, without the interference of Satan, and the glory of God holds the utmost importance among man. Such people are like angels: pure, vibrant, never complaining about God, and devoting all their efforts solely to God’s glory on earth” (“Interpretation of the Sixteenth Utterance”).

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